Whether you are fine and forty, fabulous fifty, sensuous sixty, or a thirty-something or even younger, if you are here no doubt you have struggled with your weight. We are taught at a very early age that we should look a certain way. We should fit into certain size clothing. That may be the size our mother wore or the size an elder sister wore, or the size the current model or star is wearing…and most of us just didn’t fit that size. Sometimes we were told we had to fit into a size that was different from our mother—maybe she was overweight and we got the message to not be like her.
I remember the emphasis on the scale rather than a dress size. I was constantly made aware of the fact that I weighed more than my mother and my friends and the number on the scale was a great source of consternation for me. Like many of you, I started dieting at an early age. But that didn’t help.
No matter the number on the scale or on the clothes rack, we got the message that our body was not “right.” Or we got the message that we risked losing our beauty if we didn’t adhere to this number.
Often, looking back at photos, we are surprised to see a young woman who appears healthy and fit—not the fat, slovenly memory that we have entrenched in our mind.
While we were being taught that we had to achieve a certain size or weight, we were also told how difficult that is. Great. We learned at the hands of masters that we had to ration our food intake, eat foods we didn’t like, avoid the foods we did like, go hungry…all in the name of being beautiful.
So as young girls and women we learned that we had to deprive ourselves of a key pleasure in life in order to be a certain size because the only people who were considered beautiful (and thereby worthy of attention) were those people who fit neatly into that very tight mold.
It is no wonder so many Americans developed eating disorders! Either we (more or less) successfully starved ourselves or we didn’t…and sometimes we rebelled so strongly that we gained weight, as if to prove our worthiness despite our size.
The truth is this: we are ALL worthy of love, no matter our size. Our weight has NOTHING to do with our ability to give or receive love other than our ability to love ourselves. Will there be people who do not love us because we are overweight? Sure. But there are people who don’t love skinny people, too!
The point is that we must learn to love ourselves, not rely on love, adoration or approval from others. We must shift our mindset that losing weight is about beauty. Gaining health is a beautiful thing…and to permanently drop excess pounds we must shift our focus to gaining health.
Are you going to buy into the belief that losing weight is hard (or next to impossible)? Then it will be hard for you…and you will struggle to keep it off, too.
One of the best ways to change that mindset and to crush the lies that we have been told is through affirmations and learning to actually look yourself in the mirror.
Look, I am not a size 2 or even a size 12. But I am at a healthy weight and size for me. I always thought I had to be a size 12 to be attractive, to be worthy of love, to be healthy. I have been a size 12 for a few months at a time in my life, but never for long. So maybe I’m not really meant to be a size 12…or maybe attaching a specific size (or weight) to my personal sense of value was the issue. No matter what size I was (and I was even a size 6 for a *very* brief and unhealthy period in my life) I thought I was fat, ugly and unlovable. And nothing anyone said to me could persuade me otherwise.
That is why I know I probably won’t persuade you that you are beautiful and strong and capable either. But I know you are. I know you are worthy of love and respect even if you never lose a single pound. Now it is your turn to believe it. It starts with a decision to change…to change your thinking. Decide today that you do not have to be a particular size to be beautiful or worthy of love.
Look in the mirror every day. I know this is hard. Don’t look for your flaws. Don’t look for the jiggles and the pooches. Look into your eyes. See the inner you. Repeat “I love you” over and over. Do this every day. “I love you ____, just the way you are.” Repeat it aloud…use it like mental barbells…do many repetitions. Every time you catch your reflection, look for your eyes and say it to yourself. Run it through your mind as you brush your teeth and as you wash your face.
Learning to look at your body with love will take time, but start to allow your eyes to shift to your body as you repeat “I love you, just the way you are.” If that is too big a stretch try “I believe that it is possible that one day I will be able to love myself.” Believing in the possibility is a start.
Now affirm that you CAN lose weight that you DESERVE to lose weight–to be healthy.
Some sample affirmations that you can use as is or modify as you desire:
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I deserve a healthy, energetic body therefore I eat foods that nourish it.
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I love myself therefore I treat my body with love and respect.
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Other people have dropped excess pounds, it is possible. If anyone else in the world has done it then I can, too.
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I am a success—I treat my body well and I lose excess weight easily.
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My body craves foods that nourish it. My body likes to move. I have a healthy, energetic, slender body.
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I am a success: I am loving and loveable, I love myself just the way I am.
By repeating these affirmations over and over you will begin to reprogram your brain, crushing those false beliefs that currently run through your mind. Don’t expect instant results…those old beliefs have had lots of years of being drummed into your mind–like a little creek that over time carves into the earth and results in a vast canyon. Your job is to divert that creek and create a new healthier path.
By making that first decision that you are worthy of love and worthy of a healthy body, you will be amazed at much easier it is to drop those unwanted pounds. This then sets up a wonderful cycle of health that you can enjoy for the rest of your wonderful, loving and beautiful life.
