Mother, May I…?

So much of our lives we have done things to seek approval from others or to meet their expectations. Rather than listening to our own inner voice we are trained to listen to others. This has gotten many of us into trouble—including, but not limited to, getting us fat.

It is time for us to seek our own approval and stop asking our mothers, fathers, spouses, teachers, friends, kids, and society to approve of us.

It is time to realize that no matter what, there will be some people who just don’t like us. No matter how good a person we are, no matter how hard we try. And that is okay.

It is also time for us to recognize that there are people who do and will love us. No matter what. No matter how much we weigh and no matter what we do.

It is entirely up to us then to be the people that WE want to be and to let the people love us who will and not care what the others think. This is hard if we are well-versed in putting everyone else’s opinions and needs above our own.

I’m not saying to blame anyone for getting fat. We may have put their opinions first, but we were the ones who chose to do that. We were the ones who chose to eat to push down our feelings about it. We were the ones who chose not to value our own selves, our own opinions, our feelings, and our health enough to put ourselves as a priority.

Stop asking for permission to put your health as a priority. Decide for yourself that it is a priority. Decide that you are worth having a healthy body. If you need to justify it then decide that you are a valuable human being now and that by becoming healthier you will have even more to give.

This month, decide that you are worth it. Make the effort for YOU. Don’t do it because anyone else thinks you should. Do it because you want it.

Write down the reasons you want to improve your health and fitness. This might be to lose weight, or to get into better shape, or to tone up…or even all of the above. The important thing here is WHY. The why is what will help you get through when you have a bump in the road. And while we are changing our mindset about our bodies and ourselves we will run into some bumps.

That’s normal…after all, we have had lots of practice with the old pattern. Years and years and years of practice. So cut yourself a little slack while you practice these new thoughts and behaviors. If you “slip up” and have a negative thought (or action), rather than compounding it with more negative thoughts like “I’m such an idiot” or even “ I can’t believe I just ate that”, follow it up with lots of positive loving messages.

For example, “I accept myself as I am right now, even though I (just ate to push down my feelings, ate “x”, just said I was ugly) I am developing new healthy habits for my mind and body. This takes practice and I am practicing every day. I don’t have to be perfect at it. I just have to get better at it. And I know as I get better at it, my health will automatically get better. I will lose weight naturally as a result of these new thoughts and behaviors.  Isn’t it wonderful that I don’t have to think about counting calories? I just have to focus on loving myself because when I am truly loving myself I naturally crave healthy foods and I eat foods that are healthy for me and do things that are healthy for my mind and body.”

Repeat after m:

“I am not beholden to anyone for my health. No one made me fat, I did it all by myself. And that is wonderful news because if I made myself fat, then I can make myself slender and healthy! I have the power to achieve this goal and I don’t need anyone else’s permission to go for it. I know that I am deserving, and I now and forever more, give myself permission to be the best person mentally, emotionally and physically that I can be. I can and will achieve the healthy, energetic, slender body that I deserve.”

If you would like more affirmations and tools that I used to drop 125 pounds you can get my book, Refuse to Diet: Weight Loss Success Starts with Your Mind…Not Your Mouth. For this month of May, you can get 10% when you buy from the printer Click “Buy” and be sure to enter the code “Flowers” at checkout for your discount!



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